Written By: Dr. Ashley Brummett

Coping With Unnecessary Family Stress During the Holidays

Navigating holiday events can be overwhelming when family stress is high, but with the right strategies, it’s possible to maintain your peace of mind and enjoy the season. Here are some practical, research-supported tips on how to cope with family stress and fully embrace the holidays.

Understand Your Triggers

The holiday season often brings a mix of joy and stress, especially when it involves complex family dynamics. Recognizing what tends to trigger negative emotions—whether it’s certain conversations, behaviors, or even specific family members—can help you prepare. By anticipating triggers ahead of time, you can mentally rehearse how to handle these situations, either by using de-escalation techniques or setting healthy boundaries.

Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

Before the holiday season kicks into full gear, brace yourself for the inevitability of family tensions. This may include reminding yourself why it’s important to prioritize your mental health and well-being. It’s also helpful to clearly identify specific stressors before you encounter them. Whether it’s heated political discussions, comments about your life choices, or anything else, having a plan for coping with each situation will help you stay grounded during gatherings.

Create a Support System

Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who uplift you and respect your boundaries. Share your concerns with them, and don’t hesitate to reach out if you feel overwhelmed. If you’re attending large family gatherings, consider bringing someone along who understands your situation or even planning a check-in with a close friend afterward.

Have an Exit Strategy

Not every holiday event will be stress-free, and that’s okay. Give yourself permission to decline invitations that may put undue pressure on you. If you do attend, set a time limit for how long you will stay, and pay attention to warning signs like rising anxiety or frustration. These internal cues should signal that it’s time to step away, whether for a short break or to leave altogether.

Practice Saying No

Family members may have expectations for how you spend your time or even pressure you into uncomfortable situations. It’s important to practice saying no. Whether it’s declining an invitation or steering clear of a contentious discussion, remember that “No” is a complete sentence. Setting boundaries doesn’t require you to explain or justify your decisions.

Shift to the Positive

Instead of focusing on stressful or negative aspects of the holidays, try to direct your attention toward the positives. Engage in activities that bring joy and help you connect with others in meaningful ways. Whether it’s sharing stories, helping with meal prep, or participating in fun holiday traditions, focusing on the good can help buffer family stress.

Engage in Self-Care

Holidays can be emotionally taxing, so make time for self-care. This could mean taking a quiet walk, practicing mindfulness, or simply stepping away for a moment of calm during chaotic family gatherings. Self-care also involves protecting your emotional health, so be gentle with yourself and recognize that you don’t have to meet everyone’s expectations.

Reflect and Recharge

Once the holidays are over, take time to reflect on how you managed family stress. Celebrate your small victories, whether it’s walking away from a tense situation or maintaining your emotional balance. Reflecting on your experience can help you recharge and better prepare for future family gatherings.

Seek Support if Needed

If the family stress feels too overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek support. A therapist or counselor can provide helpful tools and strategies to navigate challenging dynamics, and talking to a professional can give you a space to process any unresolved feelings.

In Conclusion

Managing family stress during the holidays doesn’t mean missing out on the joy of the season. With careful preparation and a strong support system, you can focus on what truly matters—connecting with loved ones and creating lasting memories. Take care of your well-being first, and let that guide you through the festivities. Happy holidays!