An interview with: Jill Durby, LMFT
Jill, What is One DBT Skill That You Think Effectively Elevates Someone’s Mood?
One of the primary ways we try to reduce vulnerabilities, and help elevate mood, and get people moving in the right direction—one of the DBT skills includes building competency. And so, what we know for sure is that when I am progressing, when I am getting better at something, when I feel accomplished, even if it’s just learn to knit one stitch, right? I’m now better at something than I was yesterday. That has a meaningful impact on people’s lives, you know, supporting people in their first understanding of that, that’s not to be taken for granted. And then, two, to guide them to find things that are meaningful to them and their values that they want to build competency in, right? And it can be as simple as like, “I completed that thousand-piece puzzle, like look at me, yay me!” Or it might be like, “I’ve never learned how to play golf, and I want to learn how to play golf, and I’m gonna work towards it and get better at it, and I’m gonna see progress over time.”
How Does One Continue to Build Competency After Learning this DBT Skill?
Helping them again play around with ideas about how they can incorporate that in their lives, cause as for adults, it actually does take effort on our parts, because we get put into, you know, a certain lane and a certain job, and we do certain things. Like, when we’re young, it’s easy: play soccer, try music, like, “I’ll do all these things,” and there’s so many opportunities. Once we get older, it’s like, it’s on us like, “Okay, so how am I getting better? How am I seeing progress or feeling accomplished in certain areas?” And it gets back to like, “Okay, where would you be interested in doing that?” And then actually making and putting it on your schedule to do it, and then feeling the effects of that.
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